My wonderful furry faced friend, companion and partner, Malnar is dying.

I’m so beyond bummed. I’ve really struggled with it since learning of his prognosis on Friday.

I do know – no matter the intensity of the pain and grief right now – I would not trade that pain for any of the joy during the time we had together. I guess that is one of the learning points we gain thru life. Some get it – some don’t.

So I decided I was going to give Malnar whatever he wanted during these last days together. And for the most part, I soon realized I was giving him what I gave him every day. Which has made me a little less regretful.

Though I will admit – I can’t pass him without trying for a tummy rub. And on some days in the past – I have walked past that tummy so delightfully displayed for my review. I am annoying him. I’ve spent a couple of nights on the floor with him, rubbing his tummy until I fall asleep. Usually he gives a sigh and moves away, giving me the “enough already”.

Today though – today – I have a goofy smile on my face. I broke the rules (gladly) and I usually don’t break the rules.

Today I took Malnar on an unauthorized ride-a-long. Burt had to go to work at 9pm. I had asked to leave early at 9p so if anything happens – one of us will be there. I didn’t want Malnar to be alone an hour. Burt dropped him off with me. You should have seen his face when he realized he was going to work with me again!!!

His face just lit up and he jumped into the squad as if it had been yesterday instead of years ago. We backed up an officer, we did a traffic stop, we did a building check and we patroled thru the neighborhoods. He was LOVING it! It was a short time, but the right amount of time. He wasn’t comfortable in the front seat and was ready to call it quits at the end of our shift.

Talk about fulfilling a K9 Make-a-Wish.

We’re at home now. He had his dinner and is resting.

I have to make sure I let Blake know how important it was that he laid Malnar’s last track. The day I realized something was wrong – I had Blake lay a track for him. And as 12-year old boy’s are want to do – he didn’t follow the instructions.

Malnar came out – started the track – and headed the “wrong” direction. I started to explain to Burt about where the track was supposed to go – and he said the words so many of us have heard so many times – “trust your dog”. And so I did. And Malnar followed Blake’s track perfectly.

Anyway – thought I would let you know about me being bad. A really good night.

— Burton in Kirkland, IL