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Snooper

My best friend Snooper is coming to the end of her life.
Snooper is a hound mix although I really don;t know all the mixes in her. I don’t know how old she really is. Somewhere around 14 or 15.
She has liver cancer and I can see it spreading over her body. She is still eating and wants to go for walks, but they have shortend the over the past few days.
I have been giving her meds and an herb that the vet says will slow the progress of the cancer.
I am heart broken over this as Snooper and I have lived alone 14 years. We went fishing together walks and rides. I have a job that takes lots of hours away from home each day and Snooper waited for me all of her life. I would take her to work with me on Sundays and I would water plants as I own a garden center.
I said that I would not take her life. I believe that all living things deserve to fight for their own lives.
I still believe that, but the thoughts of putting her to sleep keep creeping into my head.
She is not ready for that yet as she will drink and eat. She smiles at me and my heart melts.
I ask God not to put me through this, but here it is.
I can’t consentrate at work.
My temper is not good and have high bp. I cry a lot and I know there is much more to come.
I really pray that God will take her on his own and I won’t have to pull the plug. I would like to think that I did everything possible for her. But somehow I think I will always think I missed something.
I am a 48 yr old man and Snooper is as much a part of my life as anything ever has been.
Mark, If you read this, I listen to you almost every night and I think you are the best. I will get Rescuing Sprite someday. Right now I need to try to rescue Snooper.

Thanks for reading

Jeff from MI