I think I can honestly say that yesterday was THE SADDEST day I have ever had. This morning someone asked me how I was doing. I replied, \”If you would have asked me this question three days ago, I was the happiest person in the world, but I can honestly tell you that today has been THE saddest day I have had in my twenty-seven years alive.\”

I think he thought I hit the jackpot and had my funds seized for taxes or something…LOL…yes, a few days ago, I had more money than I have today. A few days ago, the weather was warmer. BUT, a few days ago, my little baby, Emily was sitting on the couch next to me curled up in a bawl and licking my hand to death!! Her brother, Jonah, was nudging me to pet him too. Emily growled silently as if to say, \”My Mommy..\”

I wish I could have frozen that day in time. But, today, I sit here crying more than I can ever recall and praying harder than I ever had. I sit here wanting this day to fly by as fast as possible and for tomorrow to be here…I have had Emily since she was about six weeks old…boy oh boy, she is one SPUNKY and FEISTY little girl!!! She loves chasing squirrels and being the QUEEN of the house. She always gets her way and we cannot go one day without someone mentioning, \”She is soooooooooooo cute and friendly…\” Friendly?? Beyond belief!! Don\’t allow her to think that you want to pet her or say hello…she rolls over on her back and whines and whines and whines until you rub her belly…LOL…she is a TOTAL flirt too!!!

Jonah came along about two years ago and even when we thought Emily would not allow ANYONE to share her living quarters, she surprised us again…she let him in, let him get comfortable, BUT FIRST, let him know who is BOSS!! EMILY!!! What a blessiig to us he is, I could never ask for a more AMAZING little boy…even through this difficult time, we try hard to hide something is going on but he knows and we can\’t hide it no matter how hard we try…

When I cry, there is never a tear that hits the floor because Emily quickly licks each one up. She knows when I am sad and most of all, she knows more about me THAN ANYONE IN THIS WORLD. I have had her since she was six weeks old, she is now five…she knows all my secrets and I am sure if she could, she would blackmail me a bit…heeheh!!

Over the past three weeks, her PEP, SPUNK, ENERGY (whatever you want to call it) level has gone from a 10 to 0. We recently took her to a vet and after running some blood tests, it turns out my baby is pretty sick, actually extremely sick…her kidneys are failing and her red blood cell count is pretty low…we were urged to get her to an ER immediately….I must admit, dropping her off there yesterday was THE hardest thing I have ever done…I mean, I have had some rough days and rough times but looking back, nothing was as difficult for me as yesterday. She was lucky to have an AMAZING doctor attending to her yesterday, Dr. Ruggles. I am not sure about you, but I have NEVER seen a vet cry…EVER…he cried after discussing her prognosis…he said, \”she\’s my pal..\” She sure was, like I said, she is a TOTAL flirt…

Today, her red blood cells were the same, which turns out, IS FAR BETTER than having them drop…the situation does not look good, matter of fact, pretty grim..however, I have an amazing sister-in-law (who isn\’t a vet) but is far more knowledgeable and loving when it comes to pets, then more vets out there today. Say what you want, but you all know that as some teachers don\’t care, some vets don\’t care.

Dawn is dealing with the same situation with her baby, Tank. She has helped Chris and I far more than one can imagine, through this difficult time…if Emily does pull through, Dawn will help us get her PEP back to a five or six, which is FFFFFFFFFAAAAARRRRRR better than a 0.

Some people understand my situation and some don\’t. Some say, \”oh, hogwash, dogs are not like kids..\” BUT I completely disagree…she is my child, matter of fact I have two kids. Jonah doesn\’t know what to do with himself or what to think…yesterday, he cuddled with her favorite teddybear…today, he is sooooo confused as to why Mommy took his sister but has not brought her back yet…

There is SOMETHING, actually, MANY THINGS about Emily that makes it sooo hard to let go. She truly has been there through THE MOST difficult times or my life, the hardest hurdles I have had to jump over, and during the MOST AMAZING and WONDERFUL times of my life as well…she can read me like NOBODY else in this world can…she can put the biggest smile on any child\’s face…she can get her Daddy to let her do about ANYTHING, actually anything…and she has COMPLETE control over her little brother, Jonah…When I first got her, she was soooooooo small that the only way I could describe her was that \”she is a BABY\’S BABY…\” I mean, she was smaller than a baby so why not?? LOL…

A lot of people say they love animals because they never talk back….I love her because she understands and ALWAYS makes me feel better…NO MATTER the situation…the sad thing is that they cannot tell you when their belly hurts or if they are in pain…

Tomorrow is a tough day for us…it is the day the Internal Medicine doctor decides whether her kidneys are beyond repair or if a blood transfusion would turn things around. Either way, I guess I am prepared…I do know that I am realisitic enough to NOT ALLOW her to be in pain or to suffer because I would be EXTREMELY selfish to allow that…

I would really put my life on the line for her…TRULY, dogs have this way of making the GROUCHIEST GROUCH smile, taking away your pain, licking your tears, making you laugh, and most of all bringing complete joy to your life…

All in all, it has been an amazing ride, Emily, but Mommy hopes it will last a while longer…

Chris from CO