Hi Mark….

I had read your book about Sprite even before getting my little rescued doggy, Taffy.  The organization that we got her from lied to us about so many things.  The biggest being that she was totally healthy.  We got her Jan of \’08 and she went to Heaven this past Saturday (11-15-08).  She was sick when we got her.  To this day we have no vet records that were requested.  She was such a wonderful dog.  Got along great with our existing dog, our cat and even thought she was mommy to one of our guinea pigs.

From the get go she and I had a bond.  I deal with depression and stress.  So we were helping each other along the way.  She had Pulmonary Fibrosis which is a build up of scar tissue in her lungs and bronchi.  She just couldn\’t breath at the end there.  She was still happy and still just wanted to be with mommy but for very short time periods then had to lay down.  It just wasn\’t fair to her to allow her to go through what she was going through.  The last few nights she was still with us I spent awake with her because she was scared and couldn\’t  get comfortable so I would just sit with her while she slept as a comfort.  If she woke up and I wasn\’t there, she would come and wake me to do it again.  We really were dependant on each other.  I took lots of pictures of her and video.  It was so quick.  She was looking at me as she left this world.  Her little body, finally at peace.  But now mine wasn\’t.

I hurt so bad that it is almost taking my breath away and just hurts my chest.  I AM thankful for so much with her.  I just feel like \’now what?\’.  My other dog, Sadie, is very sad and doesn\’t know quite what to do.  I sleep with Taffy\’s blanket and as I type this my 4 year old is holding onto it.  He says he misses her very much.  I grew up on a farm but have NEVER had this kind of relationship with dogs before and never was around when dad felt the need to put them down.  This time I was her nurse, her mommy, her best friend and I was there.  She was so scared. I just hope she didn\’t even have time to think \’mommy why are you doing this to me?\’.  I just hope she knows everything I did for her was out of love.  I miss her so much.  Everywhere I go there she is.  Her spot on the bed, her toys, her blanket, her spot on the floor right next to my chair, her name with Sadie\’s on the food tub.  She\’s just everywhere and my heart just burns when I notice something.  How long will this pain last?

I am so mad at that organization but only for being so reckless with her.  I am very thankful that God brought her to me to live with and be spoiled with lots of love until the end but what the heck happened to her before?  I don\’t even know if I want to know that.  I go between sadness, anger, anxiety, etc.  I just want her back and I miss her so.  So I just wanted to share with you.  I hope she is running with Sprite and they are both very healthy and just happy.  Thank you for your book.  In a way it prepared me for what was ahead and to come.  Thank you Mark.  God bless you!

Kim from OH