My son drove me Wednesday (1/2/08) to a 9:30am appointment at the Metropolitan Veterinary ER for Lucky to have an Abnominal Ultrasound.

He has a 5+ cm mass (a little less than 3 times the size of my tumor) on his Spleen and there are nodes surrounding his liver. The Physician siad that the mass an nodes can be surgically removed and then followed with Chemotherapy. I told him I DID NOT WANT LUCKY TO GO THRU THAT SINCE I’VE BEEN THROUGH IT AND LUCKY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SUSTAINE IT. I don’t want to put my Lucky through all that. He told me that I could get him on a steroid treatment (which woul be small pills) and he would start to feel better and start to eat . . . BUT . . . the Cancer would still be in his body and the mass would become much larger. Eventually, I would be back to square 1 but in a worst condition.

I’ve been crying since Wednesday and my son has expressed his pain with being ANGRY WITH THE WORLD. His thinking is that; “we can put a man on the moon but CAN’T CURE CANCER”; countries such as Japan, China and Russia have their citizens live to be very old and don’t have Cancer in their country as we do here; we have Microwaves that give off Radiation, our foods are artificially grown and chemically spread, etc. and with all the research and technology, they have not directed any research on curing animals with CANCER.”

I call his Veterinary Physician and will take Lucky there Friday Night at 7:30pm to be EUTHANAZED. Lucky’s already lost so much weight for all he’s been doing these past 2 weeks is drinking water and he sleeps or just lays lethargic about 90% of the day. Everything I’ve tried to feed him, he just walks away from it. I have no qualms about PUTTING HIM TO SLEEP because I DO NOT WANT HIM TO SUFFER. I’d rather put him to sleep and let him GO WITH GOD than to subject him to even Steroid Treatments, that will surely blow his little body up and at the same time the Cancer within his little body is only going to get worse.

My neighbor’s dog was diagnosed with Cancer and they opted for the operation and Chemo and THEIR DOG STILL DIED. I do not want Lucky to go through that. All that surgery on his little body, I doubt if his heart could take it and even if it did, to have it followed up with CHEMO . . . NO WAY WILL I SUBJECT HIM TO THAT.

I am so depressed and can’t stop crying. My GermanShepard/Collie, CAESAR stayed by my side the whole time I was going thru my Chemo and Radiation Treatments; he never left my bedside. The following year (1996) when my life got back to normal, Caesar took my Cancer and I had to put him to sleep. I got Lucky in 1997, to fill the hole that was within me and here it is exactly 11 years later and Lucky has now taken my Cancer so I can still remain FREE. You do the math. I got Cancer in 1995 and as of 2007, I still am free of Cancer. That’s 12 years and in those 12 years, I’ve lost 2 of my dogs to CANCER.

I am devasted, heart-broken and have lost my energy and fight. I can’t stop thinking that my 2 dogs ATE MY CANCER SO THAT I CAN LIVE. I feel so empty and worthless. I created a Montage dedicated to ALL THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A PET – “You’re Going Home” Montage.

Here is the website:

Elaine from PA