Sara, Chewy…

Our dog’s name was Sara, a mutt whom we loved dearly. She gave us her undying devotion and was funny besides. When it was time, my husband took her to the vet who put her to sleep and left her there. When our daughter-in-law’s chow, Chewy, for self-explanatory reasons, became old, ill and had every operation available to keep him alive, she had him put to sleep and cremated, keeping him in the living room in a beayiful urn. But 10 years ago she called that her husband, the father of her 2-year old son and the older of our 2 sons, was dead, it was devastating beyond expression or belief. We all felt nothing but numbness. The funeral was a blur. Our remaining son, who was the apple of our older son’s eye and vice-versa was like us. Totally bereft of any emotion. Our deceased son’s name was Steven. His brother’s name is Doug. It has been 10 yearsn since Steven w ent homer but we all shall always remember how he lit up any room when he entered, how he always said, “I love you,” at the end of a phone call whether it was me or his father. He had said thst 2 weeks before when we had last talked before he died. During that conversation, I had told him I was sorry that we hadn’t been able to do for him that we hasd for his 8 year younger brother and that I was sorry that as a young mother I had been too strict with him and not a good mother. He said he had had a very good life and thought I was a very good mother and had been given everything to make him happy and hd never noticed any difference. He was always very proud of his little brother and they never had a harsh word to say to each other. After his only child was born, he ased that he no longer wanted to travel all over the world but wanted an office job in Atlanta office. But, unbeknownst to us, had been sent to the Canadian Headquarter’s office. He didn’t check out of hs hotel room. An autopsy was performed and weeks after th funeral, the results showed he’d died of a heart arrythymia with no prior symptoms. He coukd hasve been saved if he had been around someone to give him artificial respiration until he ambulance came, but we never ooked back, he was a Christian, and we knew his future was secure. But, oh, how the ret of us mourned quietly in our hearts and do to ths day. Our daughter-in-law quietly told me that her big deal about havngn Chewy cremated was not a bit important and now seemed silly. Our son’s beloved by him, son is almost 12-years old and will never know his dad, who spent every spare minute playing with him or just watching him. Our son, Doug, who survives, has gone on to become a very large corporation member of upper management. His big brother would have been very proud of him and would never have been jealous of his seven figure salary. If I live to be a hundred, if my mind survives at all, I will continie to mourn quietly with this huge hole in my heart and the void that was myn ove from and for my sweet Steven. I occasionaly remember my dog. Sara, when others are takig about ther former dgs, but until you’ve lost a child, Mark, you haven’t lost anything excepta wonderful friend who loved you unconditionally all. I pray you never lose either of your precious children. My husband pets every dog who gets lost in our golf course community. When we can’t find their homes, we bring them in, feed them, and try finding their homes or another home. We are 72 and I have multiple sclerosis;w/c bound wityh use of only my left rm and hand; therefore, he has
too much to do to have a dog of his own. We listen to your show every night and bought your book. I’m sure it was cathartic for you. Think of people who have to unplug their brain dead children or see them mangled after an auto accident, sufferig from fatal disease.. Then their dog’s death is sad, but this is worthy of long forever
grief. .I’m sorry for Spritey’s death, but I just hope you don’t look at your child’s picture someday and have an indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach….


Clarice from MO