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Eve

I just sat down this morning and read your book cover to cover within a few hours time. With a box of tissue at hand, I have to say I am very happy that you took the time and sentimental efforts to write down all of your personal thoughts and feelings to share with complete strangers. I have to admit, I am not much of a talk radio listener, and did not know much about you prior to this book…but now, I actually feel as if I do.

A little history of how I got your book…In July this past summer, I was packing up for our yearly road trip to visit family up north, as we have done every year for the past 6 years. We would either go during Christmas, or in the summer.

Eve was my co-pilot. In fact, she loved to travel with me so much, that she had worn down the leather on the door with her paws in my leased car! (whoops!) Eve and I became best friends in November of 2000. She was a lost puppy and a friend of mine found her weeping after she must have fallen into an irrigation ditch. It was a rainy October night when he found Eve, she was scared, wet, cold and lost. My friend tried to find her mom and dad. The nearest signs of any type of community was a trailer park down the road from this irrigation ditch. He went door to door looking for the owners of this little pup. One woman told him that the dog was once hers and that she gave it to the guy down the road, but he was put in jail. End of story. He began a search for a GOOD home for this little girl, because he could not keep her. He asked me to put up a sign at my work, I looked at the sign and on it was a printed photo of a little wet big eyed doggie and I said…OH MY GOSH….I need to meet her! The sign never went up. And I “adopted” EVE (who was named after being found on the eve of Halloween).

Eve and I spent 7 wonderful years together and this summer trip to visit family seemed like only a stop to add to the many more to come, but unfortunately it was our last road trip.

I made it to Cleveland, Oh….we had a fun time at the park with my cousins, went walking around my grandmother’s yard and even spotted a few deer. Eve was the only dog of all the dogs in the family who was welcome in the “fancy” living room. You know, the one that only gets used on holidays and other special occasions. I think it was partly because Eve and I lived in SC and were only up once a year, but also I know it was because Eve was so much more than a dog to more than just me.

We left my grandmother’s house and made a stop to my Uncle’s which was about 1 hour out of town. We spent the night there and Eve did act a little extra tired that night we went to bed, but honestly it was nothing that out of the ordinary for her she was such a lazy and laid back dog, laying around for her was pretty typical. Until you brought her to the beach (which I did daily in Myrtle Beach where we live) She LOVED the beach and it was the only place where she really came alive!! She was definitely a beach dog.)

When we woke up that morning at my Uncle’s…she was acting so strange. It was as if she was having a hard time breathing, then it would go away. I thought perhaps she had sniffed something that irritated her nose or something. It went away, and then she seemed ok. I told my uncle that I would watch her while I made my trek to Detroit where it was a few hours away. I called my best friend to let her know I was coming and to see if she could make an appointment with a vet for Eve when I got there, in case she is having an allergy or something. She said ok.

Make a very sad and long story short. I made it to Detroit. Eve got better and worse the whole drive up. I could not quite imagine what was going on with her, she was my first and only dog ever that I was the sole provider, so this is very hard to even re-live in writing. We rushed her to the vet in MI and the workers were so very professional and rushed out to help this unfamiliar dog with this unfamiliar owner who just got to town. He immediately put her on Oxygen and monitored her for a while the assistants brought me to the waiting room. He came out to me and let me know that she is breathing regularly and that he wanted to discuss treatments with me as well as possibly keeping her overnight. I told him whatever it takes, this is my daughter we are talking about. He smiled and told me he understood. He left again and within a minute, he rushed back into my room and told me she took one deep breath and went under cardiac arrest. I begged to any God, any higher power at that time to not take Eve from me. I wanted to at least have her back home to the beach if anything ever were to happen to her. The beach was her home. I cried and cried…and a few minutes later, he came in, and was watching me cry harder….he said “I’m so sorry” and explained to me how unusual and uncommon things like this happen, but they still happen. He said he wishes he could give me more explanation, but there were no signs and this was very unexpected. He looked as if he was going to cry watching me go through this. I said, “I just don’t understand???”

That welcome to Detroit left me with the biggest heartbreak that I have ever felt in my entire life.

This brings me to how I read your book. My mom is not much of a pet person, but knew how much this tragic event has effected me to the highest extent. I had to drive the rest of my trip with Eve but in spirit and ash form. I had to return home without her and all of my neighbors questioned me, they STILL do. Eve and I walked the neighborhood and the beach nightly. When they see me and don’t know, they still ask me, “where’s that big beautiful dog of yours? I have not seen you guys walking around in the past months” Tears swell up as soon as they ask, and I say nothing for a moment until I could muster up enough energy without breaking down to tell them she has passed away” Every time, it is the same reaction, shock. Well, my mom knows all of this to an extent. I mean, I know she thinks I need to get on happy pills or something to “snap out of it” but she is trying other methods to make things “better”. She sent me this book a month ago.

I was told by a few other of my dog lover friends that I need “fur therapy”. So, I decided to open myself up to pet sit over the holidays. I didn’t think I could make the drive up there without a bunch of tears since the last trip up to visit family was the beginning of this 4 month depression. So I mentioned to a few people who have dogs that I was avail to house/pet sit…so here I am.

I am sitting here crying from remembering all sorts of things about Eve, but having such an amazing time in this amazing house that overlooks this incredible view of the march in SC. My buddies for the week are two basset hounds, Cloe and Webster.

My mother asked me if I brought the book with me since I will have lots of time to read while I am on my holiday break….and I told her I did, and planned on reading it. Wow, besides the fact that I think I have a headache from crying, I really did enjoy reading the stories of the good , bad and scary times you have had with your dogs. I guess being able to relate to the umpteenth extent made me all that much more emotional. I made a memorial photo for Eve, and wanted to share it here. Thanks again for writing that book. Some days are harder than others, I don’t walk the beach much now, and I still stare at her photos and have her ashes sitting beside the window where she would be sitting 90% of the time watching the birds eat out of the feeders beside the windows.

Sandi from SC

eve

3 Responses

  1. Deb Budesa Says:

    He was the only pup in the shelter that didn’t cower or snarl at me as I clattered down the concrete walkway on my aluminum crutches. Instead he sat at the gate to his cage wagging his tail. It was the silly sign that I thought I needed to pick the perfect dog for our family; none of that spending time with potential pets for me…this would be a feel-it-in-my-heart thing. I told the attendent that he was the ‘ONE’ and home we went. Over the next months of adjusting to this this older puppy, I replace the neighbor kids’ shoes several times after he chewed them to shreds. He destroyed our shoes, TV remote controls, papers, anything not on a shelf or in the closet. He ate five pounds of Easter candy and never even skipped a beat. Over the years, he stole sandwiches from my sister-in-law, wrapped ground meat from the sink and a kielbasa wrapper was found in the basement…very mysterious! But this was our Comet: irascible, voracious but look up the word ‘love’ in the dictionary and his picture would be there. This black and tan fur shedding machine who stunk up the house and laid underfoot ad nauseum shared our lives for fourteen amazing years and we are all better people for having know and loved him. Comet, apparently named for the cleanser and not for the speedy celestial bodies, based on his level of energy and activity, became something of a celebrity in our small town. For seven years, he was the mascot for our daughter’s softball team because he was at every game, wore a team color bandana and often sat in the bleachers with other family members to watch the games. He even made it into the team photos a couple of times. He loved to go to the vet and was so popular with all the ladies who worked there with his swwet, gentle nature that a chorus of “Comet’s here!” would swell as we entered the waiting room. He liked to pass the time there watching the fish in the fishtank.

    Neighbors who weren’t especially friendly would light up when Comet went by. There was a force in this beagle/lab mutt that was irresistible and no one was safe from it! He was the universal comfort pillow, never gave unsolicited advice or critism and wanted nothing more than to be with you as if you were the most wonderful person in the world. He was everyman’s cheerleader. He never met a person or beast he didn’t love.

    He liked nothing better than to ride in the car and we took him everywhere with us. Our goofy family would actually take him for rides in the car after a heavy rain so he could hang out the back window and bite at the drops of water that splashed his face from road puddles…that was his favorite. We took a trip to Gettysburg and climbed to the top of Little Round Top with the kids. He might as well have climbed Mt. Everest, he was so happy.

    He saw us through every important life event andwe never could imagine his not being a

  2. Deb Budesa Says:

    He was the only pup in the shelter that didn’t cower or snarl at me as I clattered down the concrete walkway on my aluminum crutches. Instead he sat at the gate to his cage wagging his tail. It was the silly sign that I thought I needed to pick the perfect dog for our family; none of that spending time with potential pets for me…this would be a feel-it-in-my-heart thing. I told the attendent that he was the ‘ONE’ and home we went. Over the next months of adjusting to this this older puppy, I replace the neighbor kids’ shoes several times after he chewed them to shreds. He destroyed our shoes, TV remote controls, papers, anything not on a shelf or in the closet. He ate five pounds of Easter candy and never even skipped a beat. Over the years, he stole sandwiches from my sister-in-law, wrapped ground meat from the sink and a kielbasa wrapper was found in the basement…very mysterious! But this was our Comet: irascible, voracious but look up the word ‘love’ in the dictionary and his picture would be there. This black and tan fur shedding machine who stunk up the house and laid underfoot ad nauseum shared our lives for fourteen amazing years and we are all better people for having know and loved him. Comet, apparently named for the cleanser and not for the speedy celestial bodies, based on his level of energy and activity, became something of a celebrity in our small town. For seven years, he was the mascot for our daughter’s softball team because he was at every game, wore a team color bandana and often sat in the bleachers with other family members to watch the games. He even made it into the team photos a couple of times. He loved to go to the vet and was so popular with all the ladies who worked there with his sweet, gentle nature that a chorus of “Comet’s here!” would swell as we entered the waiting room. He liked to pass the time there watching the fish in the fishtank.

    Neighbors who weren’t especially friendly would light up when Comet went by. There was a force in this beagle/lab mutt that was irresistible and no one was safe from it! He was the universal comfort pillow, never gave unsolicited advice or critism and wanted nothing more than to be with you as if you were the most wonderful person in the world. He was everyman’s cheerleader. He never met a person or beast he didn’t love.

    He liked nothing better than to ride in the car and we took him everywhere with us. Our goofy family would actually take him for rides in the car after a heavy rain so he could hang out the back window and bite at the drops of water that splashed his face from road puddles…that was his favorite. We took a trip to Gettysburg and climbed to the top of Little Round Top with the kids. He might as well have climbed Mt. Everest, he was so happy.

    He saw us through every important life event and we never could imagine his not being part of our lives. As he got older, we put him on a strict diet and he got down to a trim weight. He was like a puppy again for about a year and it thriiled us to see him rejuventated. Then we started to notice his labored breathing and a bit of a cough. One morning last June, he visited the vet in the morning. By 10:45 that night he was gone. A heart attack maybe they said. We were blind-sided and dazed. Then the sympathy cards started to arrive and we had to accept that his death was real and he wasn’t coming back. We all cried, tried to be brave, cried some more and slowly started to remember more happy things than sad. It’s been six months but the pain is only slightly dulled. As the holidays roll around we remind each other that these would be the first ones without our sweet boy. Whew, that’s tough!

    We only lasted a month before we adopted two new dogs…Sammy, a doxie-chihuahua mix who is seven and was only days away from euthanasia and Bjeli, a Bichon Frise, three, who came from a puppy mill in W. Va. They were not intended to take Comet’s place but to help us cope with that vast, empty space in ourselves that could only heal by being able to love pets again. Comet, in his infinite wisdom and capacity to love all living things, would have wanted it that way, we are sure.

    We have a river stone in our garden that is engraved with the following,” To Comet, our precious boy who loved beyond measure, you are in our hearts forever.” I wish there had been enough room to add that we are eternally grateful to this gift from God who gave us more than we could ever repay, who warmed our hearts, smoothed the rough spots and blessed us with his very existence.

    I managed to make it through this essay with only a momentary tightening of the throat so I am making progress. To all of you who have never know the love and comfort that only a pet can bring, I am profoundly sorry for your being passed over. And dear Commie, wherever your precious spirit is, we feel your legacy every day and miss you.
    All my love, Mommy

  3. Debra Burger Says:

    HI Sandi,
    Your story was so moving and Eve is truly beautiful. Over the years, I personally know there are no words to describe the pain of losing a pet. I am a rescuer and so was my father, so I have had many losses. Over time, it seems the only hope we have is that we will meet them again.
    Being in rescue has helped me with the grieving process. When my seniors pass, I cry alot and say Goodbye to my good friend and I always tell them that I will see them on the other side. I hope your pain lessens, as time passes and you find another little animal spirit to love.
    God Bless and the next pet to come into your life
    Debra M.