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Wrinkles

Today as I hopped into my car and turned on the radio to listen to Rush, I heard him introduce Mark Levine as he was being interviewed for a new book he had just published. As he began to talk about the heart wrenching decision to put his dog down, I again started sobbing uncontrollably. You see, I just put my dog, my best friend to sleep forever two days ago and the pain is still as sharp as it was that night.

Wrinkles was 17-years-old and although she still got around and still loved to play, she ended up in a situation where emergency surgery was needed to save her life. Because of age and finances, my husband and I agreed it was best to put her down and end her discomfort and pain. I wish I could have done more for her. As she died in my arms and her head slowly went down, she fell asleep and stopped breathing. At that point, I had the most painful sorrow that I’ve never experienced before. My chest just aches for her to hold, my voice continues to talk to her and I continue to see flashes of her throughout the day although she isn’t here anymore and my mind says she still is. As we all said our goodbyes, my youngest turned to me and asked if he could put something in her grave.

We told him okay only to find that after he left, there was a picture of Wrinkles and the four boys holding her with smiles on their faces and a smile on hers. This just broke my heart! We wrapped the picture in plastic and we buried it with her as this was his wish. This is an unbearable pain right now and hearing this broadcast put me back to that night as if it were yesterday. I could do everything for this dog but I couldn’t help her in her final hours and that just eats at me terribly. You spoke of this act as being a kind act for your pet but right now this is falling on deaf ears because I haven’t move to that part of the grieving process and these words don’t sink in yet. I think Rush said to you “The greater the joy, the worse the pain” and my heart understands that now. Is it a coincidence that this broadcast happened to be on the only hour I was in that car? Whatever, your insight, compassion and ability to move on does give me hope that eventually this pain will not be so stinging and I can look back and smile on all the joy she gave our family. Thanks for the free therapy! PS Wrinkles died on her birthday which was November 13th……..17-years-ago. She truly was a family member!

Donna from NJ