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The Stinky Dog

“HER INTERNAL ORGANS ARE QUITE GOOD, BUT SHE HAS VERY ADVANCED ARTHRITIS, AND HER HIPS AND RIGHT FRONT LEG ARE READY TO BREAK,” THE VET EXPLAINED, DISPLAYING YOUR XRAY. “SHE HAS A FEW MONTHS, BUT THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO HAVE HER PUT TO SLEEP. OH — THESE BIG BLACK AREAS IN HER INTESTINE ARE GAS BUBBLES.” FOR $150 I COULD HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT THOSE GAS BUBBLES. WE’VE HAD TO CORNER THE MARKET ON ROOM SPRAY.

I THINK OF THE LAST ALMOST TWELVE YEARS, AND HOW WE WENT THROUGH THE DEATH OF OUR FAMILY; HOW YOU PINED FOR MOM; AND, HOW, TOGETHER, WE FOUND DADDY DEAD IN HIS BED. WHEN THEY CAME TO TAKE HIM AWAY, I SAT WITH YOU ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, TRYING TO CALM YOU, YOUR ANIMAL INSTINCTS HAVING RECOGNIZED DEATH.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT YOU: THE TIME I WAS TEASING YOU WITH MY HAD UNDER THE COVERS, AND YOU BIT MY NOSE THROUGH THE BLANKET. WE THOUGHT I’D HAVE TO GO THE HOSPITAL, BUT THE REDNESS AND PAIN WENT AWAY IN THREE HOURS. THE TIME WE HIKED THE INDIAN HOLY MOUNTAIN, PRAYING AT ITS MOST SACRED SITE WHERE I LEFT OFFERINGS OF COFFEE AND FLOUR. THEN YOU LEFT YOUR OFFERING. I CERTAINLY HOPE THE RANGER DIDN’T FIND IT. AND THE TIME YOU ATE ALL THAT CHINESE FOOD AND THREW UP ON THE RUG, AND I HAD TO CLEAN IT. THEN THERE WAS THE TIME YOU BUTTED ME IN THE BEHIND AND ALMOST KNOCKED ME INTO THE LITTLE BIGHORN RIVER, AND ALL THE TOURISTS WERE LAUGHING.

YOU CERTAINLY HAVE YOUR FAULTS. YOU’VE GOT ENOUGH EAR WAX TO GO INTO THE BUSINESS. YOU MOST ASSUREDLY HAVE THE INVENTORY. YOU HAVE TO BE THE SLOPPIEST EATER IN THE WORLD; YOUR FOOD ALWAYS WINDS UP THREE FEET FROM THE BOWL; AND, YOU’RE DEFINITELY THE LOUDEST DRINKER ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. LORD KNOWS WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND START LAPPING WATER, THEY MUST HEAR YOU IN SOUTHEAST ASIA. — GOD I LOVE YOU!

WHEN THE TIME COMES THAT THE WICKED DEED MUST BE DONE, I WILL HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AS THE DOCTOR GIVES YOU THE SHOT SO THAT YOU MAY DIE IN MY EMBRACE. THEY SAID IT WILL ONLY TAKE FIVE SECONDS. YOU WILL REJOIN OUR FAMILY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE; AND, I WILL BE LEFT HERE ALONE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF ETERNITY, OUR FAMILY GONE, FOR ONE INDIVIDUAL DOES NOT MAKE A FAMILY. AND WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHY I GRIEVE FOR A STINKY DOG, I WILL TELL THEM THAT DOG, SPELLED BACKWARDS, IS GOD.

BOO WENT TO HEAVEN ON SEPTEMBER 15, 1998.

Diana from Arizona